I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
