can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
