Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
