physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
