I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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