yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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