she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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