Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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