Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
