Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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