yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
