You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize