i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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