The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I die, sorry about rent.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
