Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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