i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize