So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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