Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
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