i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
