So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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