Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
