I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
