never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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