Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
