it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You need a sexual gate keeper
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
