Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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