why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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