Do you still have your period?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
