God, you're like boner-b-gone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize