So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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