I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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