He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
