My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
