You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
