I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
