I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
