just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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