ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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