I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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