Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
