my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
