Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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