everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
