I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
