well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
