Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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