This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
