and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm bleeding and have questions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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