At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
