Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
