After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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