I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Acid is not a monday night drug
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
