The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
