You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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