Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
