i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize