Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
