Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
