I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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